Thursday, March 31, 2011
"its crazy to think that one little thing could have changed all of this..."
I will never forget as a 6 or 7 year old child sitting in the den with my back against a mirrored and pig-skinned wall (weird, I know) thinking 'wow, i love my life.' At that time I didn't know the future or the gist of life.. I was just living for the moment focused on love, family, togetherness, joy, warmth, shelter, and always having someone to run to when I needed them. At that small moment of my life, I didn't know that my parents 6 years later would have a bitter divorce, that i wouldn't see my dad for almost two years except on rare occasions, and that my brother and sister could possibly take the divorce so much worse than I did. I didn't know that these major events and special people who mentored me through would shape me into the person I am today .. for the good..... All for God's glory. I'm not trying to say "woe is me" or that now I have everything together; I'm trying to say no matter what God brings you through he has a reason for it. No matter how many times you say "Why God? Why here? Why now? Why me?" He is telling you after every storm comes a rainbow, behind every cloud there's a silver lining, and with every trial he is there to carry you through. And for you to remember one of the most peaceful verses for me...“Be still, and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10.
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You honestly have no idea....
ReplyDeleteFrom the first day I came to spend the night at 26 Dover (geaux Skinny Dippin!) to the beautiful tears and chills of last night, God is SCREAMING at me, "Emily, you keep asking for me to walk with you; you keep asking for a comfort, strength, and support; Emily I gave you Carrie, do you not get it?"
Seven crazy roller coaster years of the most wonderfully painful experiences and just now, sitting in the 6th floor study room listening to Darius Ruker, I honestly can say that I FINALLY get it. (Sorry, God, I know you have patience with me; it always takes me a while.) What did I just now realize?
You are beautiful beyond words and Jesus is the light beyond darkness. I am falling deeply in love with Him and I know you understand. Let's run fast, our lives are "but a mist" and I cannot stand to miss another beat.
I have always been listening to your Songs of Joy but I am just now starting to hear them :)
"....For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:20